Tuesday 19 February 2013

Unending Quest..

After a long time I went to our Corporate office today and met one of my earlier team member. Chitchatting over a cup of tea and a fag, he was mentioning that he is tired of the job though he got the long due promotion and is just waiting for the company to give him Pink slip so that he can start the food business that he has been interested over quite a few years but never had the courage to pick.

That led to my enquiring him on the status of another old team mate who left around 2 months back. I got to know that he is also on the look out to start something on his own..but not sure on what he wants to do.. With my own thoughts not really being clear as I am not happy with my current role and project and tossing ideas on what to do next.. I just started wondering what is it that we all want. It is not that one person, this is the same question and same unrest among each soul. No I do not want to attribute this to the mid-life crisis. There are so many people you are surrounded with.. you just have to look and incase it is the IT sector then it is like "In your face scenario" who get drained out and are all the time looking for something. No clue on what is that some thing!! What is it that we all are running to achieve that will provide us that immense satisfaction, happiness and pride that yes we have accomplished something!

With these thoughts I just came back home and started watching the balance of the movie CGR (the recent Pawan kalyan starrer). No I am not a great fan of him.. but some of the dialogues in the film have kicked a thought process altogether. All the big MNCs provide us a window for the Social responsibility which is again pushed on us by rewards and recognition, but where is our responsibility as an individual. Is the lack of an individual responsibility that is causing us to look out always for something to give us that adrenalin rush?

emukalu kruLLina, vayasu maLLina, somarulaara chaavanDi!
NetturumanDe, Saktulu ninDe, Sainukulaara! raranDi!
(Maha Kavi Sri Sri - Maha Prasthanam)

When we read that in the child hood, there was a kick.. a fire in the belly, something that we want to do. No idea, no direction.. but that fire in belly gave a thrusting energy to do anything. We read all the books from Jayanti (publications, Vijayawada) Tatayyagaru's shop. Be it Maha prasthanam, Chittagong Veerulu, Bhagat singh, Chandrasekhar azad.. each book only adding fuel. Every March 23rd we all kids would get together along with few of our friends and observe a few minutes of silence and take pride in that acomplishment.

During the college days, being a part of the NSS doing voluntary service was a big achievemnt. And when Mandal Commision happened and we all walked from South campus to AIIMS it was a big sense of achivement. "Nenu saitam.. prapanchagni ki.." anukuntu nadicham.

Yedo cheyyali anna avesam, tappaka edo chestam anna kala.. lonchi only me .. my family.. my car.. my home.. the entire paradigm has changed. Bavilo kappala.. baitaki ravalani undi.. kaani vaste kotta prapanchamlo em chestam anna prasna.. beduru.. ive manalni nadipistunnaya ippudu?

Weekend lo oka cinema, family to oka dinner or lunch, evaro okallo iddaro close friends to hai / hello husku.. pakkavadu ela pote manakem.. is this what we are working towards.

This was the same question that Kiran bedi was asking a few days back on the delhi rape case victim.. where is your responsibility as an individual? How come we are emerging as a society so insensitive that anything bothers us as long as it is a news headline and then headline changes and so is our focus.

This is the same thing that is leading us to the unending quest in personal front as well.. do not appreciate what you have, and when you achieve what you want, your focus changes, and the cycle continues.

In our unending quest we are losing focus to appreciate and enjoy what is around us.. the little things of life.. take a break, think what you want... forget about the designations, and the company titles, forget about the EMIs and the pay packets.. close your eyes and understand what your heart beats and for and make your passion your work...will everything else will fall in place? What do you think?