Monday 7 January 2013

Vasudhaika Kutumbam...

I was chit chatting up with my neighbour yesterday.. and suddenly in the middle of the conversation the topic diverts to our other neighbours in the apartment. And suddenly my neighbour mentions " meeku telusa syamala garini peru to pilavali avidani kani valla husband ni kaani auntie, uncle ante chala kopam. Avida peruto ne pilavamani cheptaru."

I can hear my jaw drop. When we have moved newly into this apartment there were only 2 other occupants and this family is one of them with whom we introduced ourselves first calling them uncle and auntie.. and now our kid even calls uncle Tatagaru. I have not heard any complaint any time.. But then looks like we are the only privileged ones on which this honour is bestowed while all other occupants ensure the cursory name with garu added to them.

The whole conversation has triggered only a thought process in my mind. How much we are trying to change our ways to Western world where you address the other people only by name. I know it is a matter of pure choice of the individuals... but as I am thinking and I look back I have had a whole gamut of relationships through out my life by addressing the people the Indian way, with an appropriate relationship.. uncle, auntie, attayya, pedananna, tatagaru,  bhayya, bhabhi and what not.

The closeness these relations brought would be missing if I look back and try to address each one of those individuals by name instead of relation!!

I guess this is what we are losing out in our rush to be more modern and westernised. I still remember our childhood days in Vijayawada where my dad would be coming back from office for a lunch or late night and the minute his rickshaw enters the lane, the aunties in that lane would tell their kids that Joshi mamayya garu vacharu.. and I can see them going back from being naughty to be so good and do whatever it was that their mothers were trying get them done with aplomb.. quickie..And trust me none of them were our relatives to call my dad uncle..

And that is how I remember my first introduction to the whole relations where you address another person elder to you with respect. My dad's friend was my uncle (pedananna), my grandfather's friend was Tatagaru. and when we moved to Delhi the same trend continued.

All the elder kids in the apartment were either Bhaiyyas or didis and their parents Uncle and Aunties.. same is the way my mum and dad were addressed. And between themselves they were calling one another bhaiyya or didi depending upon the age gap.

The people will come seeking advice, they take you under their wings and guide you and none of us would question.. why is it your business.

So many times me and my bro have travelled between Delhi and Hyderabad alone with only the co-passengers taking in us and ensure we safely land in our destination.. and all these uncles aunties or brothers or bhabhis would ensure we are well fed along the journey, they would fetch us anything from the platform if we need a refill of water or something to eat.

That charm is lost now-a days when you look back. What we have been taught all along was to respect our elders and the relationship naming was a part and parcel of this.

With the change of the game and people have a challenge in giving respect to their own parents or seniors in the family.. not sure where this large universal family is lost!!

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